Friday, October 5, 2007

Waiting For A Flood

J went outside this morning and reported: "If you breathe in real deep, you can smell Halloween." So true.

I can also tell that it's fall because of the hundreds of catalogues that have been appearing in my mailbox. Each time I peruse one from J.Jill, J Crew, or even Lands End I get more and more depressed. Not because of the cost (although sometimes because of the cost), but because I usually can't order anything out of a fall/winter catalogue. Or even buy anything at a regular store. Summer is my season. Crop pants, short sleeves - bring it on. When we get into long pants and sweaters, I'm in trouble. You see, I'm not normal.

At least, that is what the people who make clothes think. I have a 36" inseam and a 73" wingspan (I know because I just measured). Almost nobody makes pants or sleeves that fit. I've spent my life waiting for a flood and having frostbitten wrists, see:

I'm the one on the left with the groovy Dorothy Hammill haircut, Earth shoes and pants that are about 6 inches too short. I was 5'10" when I was 12 and was not only taller than most of the other 7th graders, I was taller than most of the teachers.

And before you start in with the being-tall-is-so-cool stuff, let me tell you, it's not. Not only can I not buy anything off the rack (Gap makes jeans in Ultra Talls, but they don't make that many of them and you can only get them online), don't even get me started on sitting in coach for 12 hours on the way to London. But, you say, I just saw a picture of you and Mary Hershey on your blog a few weeks ago - you don't look like a giant. Here's a secret - I always scrunch down in photos. Because I'm a giant. On the up side, being called things like "Flamingo Legs" all through middle school is great fodder for writing angst-ridden middle grade fiction.

Speaking of my writer buddy and cousin-by-agent Mary Hershey, you must go to her blog and see the video that she emailed me. I've watched it about 7 times and it makes me smile every time. Awesome.

Have a nice weekend. I'm NOT going shopping.

On this date: In 1961, Breakfast at Tiffany's opened.


Disco Mermaids said...

At 5'10 1/2", I hear ya! We recently had an Old Navy open here in San Luis Obispo and I went in there the other night, money in hand, ready to buy anything!!

I came out empty handed and depressed.


But concert-going is good.


Linda S. said...


I'm breaking my tradition of stalking to comment.

At 4'11 1/2" (yes, the 1/2 is important) I'd say we could co-author the most unique multicultural children's book ever attempted. Working title: The Long and The Short of It.


cynjay said...

Okay Robin, concert-going is good until the people behind you get all irritated because you're blocking their view and you feel so guilty that you slink off toward the back...

It is also good for describing yourself to someone you are meeting for the first time - 6', stripey hair and glasses. Hard to miss.

Hey Linda! I like the idea. How I longed to be little and cute.
If we write a fantasy - The Pixie and the Giant. Or an easy reader - Too Big, Too Small, Just Right. ;)

lizzy_lyn said...

Flamingo legs! Flamingo legs!

cynjay said...

AARGH! Middle school flashbacks. PTSD all over again.