Staring Into the Abyss

So I did it, and I remembered why I like to revise so much. I've revised all 148 pages of my YA manuscript into first person and have now caught up to the blinking cursor that is new material. Yikes. See, in order to revise, you have to have vised in the first place, which means that at least you have a jumping off spot. Right now, I'm just winging it, and it's not easy.

When I explained to Discomermaid Robin that I felt like my characters had lives of their own, and I just basically wrote down the movie in my head, she looked at me like I was crazy. I think she actually said I was crazy too, but I'm not sure. This is one of those things that I thought was universal - I thought everyone wrote that way - but apparently it is not. Now, the movie doesn't run without a little prodding. I have to give some stage directions.

Like now, Lexi is on the phone while she's at the jail, but I'm not sure who she is talking to. I basically try on different characters until one feels right. Is she talking to Alyssa? Nope. Trevor? Nope. Jessica? Hmmm. Maybe. But why? Its a lot like the book is already written, and I have to figure out what happens before the movie starts to play again. And characters will refuse to say or do things that aren't right to them, regardless of what I think. If they don't like the name I've given them because it is my favorite girl name that I never got to use in real life, I have to change it. If they decide that they would rather be slobs than have the case of OCD that I had planned, I have to acquiesce.

Does that make sense? No? Maybe I really am crazy.

On this date: In 1990, the X rating in films was replaced with NC-17.