Monday, August 13, 2007

Never Ending Mind Tape

Whew. Getting over a crisis weekend. Not a real crisis crisis, but one of those crisis of confidence that happens every now and then. DH was in Brazil all week, so I had the monkeys to myself, which didn't help matters. Then I started reading about Stephenie Meyer's success with her new release, and Jay Asher's upcoming book Thirteen Reasons Why which is already a success and some of my agents other clients who are getting starred reviews, etc. and the suck monster just took over. It's not a case of sour grapes per se; it's that tape that runs over and over in your head saying "Why are you even trying to do this? You'll never compete. You pretty much suck. You might as well give up now."

Anyone who writes will recognize this tape. So instead of writing, I started reading Laurie Halse Anderson's Twisted, which I'm very much enjoying. Next up is Judith Clarke's One Whole and Perfect Day. Then, after enough time had passed I opened the file with my WIP in it and started writing the whole thing over in first person. As I read it, a strange thing happened - I realized that it didn't suck all that badly. Okay, so it's no Printz Award winner, but I think in the right editorial hands, it could compete. Or at least not totally suck.

On this date: 1961, East Germany began building the Berlin Wall.


Disco Mermaids said...

Oh God, girl, I hear ya on this! (I talk to Jay every day!!) The tape in my head is running like crazy and I'm about to unplug the sucker and throw it in the fire.

I have a feeling your WIP in first person is amazing. Burn that tape, baby!!

;-) Robin

Natalie said...

I've got the same tape (I've even got it on CD). And having read the first part of your first draft, I'm here to say that you definitely do NOT suck! So feel free to throw that tape away!

And Robin, I hope you did throw your tape in the fire (after removing it from your head, or course!). :-)

Linda D. (sbk) said...

Huh. I have the DVD, the CD, and the tape and they keep multiplying. I throw them away, but they keep sneaking back in. I've got a bookcase full of them and my basement storage room is too full to close the door.

Bonfire, anyone?

cynjay said...

You guys are so cute! I only hope you're not blowing smoke.

I printed all of these out and saved them for the next time the tape starts. I really should upgrade to CD.