Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Can I Get A Meeting?

Okay people, we need to have another parents meeting. Some of you have gone soft since the last one and it's starting to show. On the agenda:

1. Ten year olds do not need cell phones. None of them do. I know, your little Katie is alone for three and a half minutes every day and might need to call. Trust me, she wont. She'll sit in my backyard texting the kid who is sitting two feet away. When you actually do need to call her, she'll have left it at home/gotten it taken away at school and you'll end up calling my home phone anyway.

2. The tooth fairy does not leave $5 for every baby tooth. At the last union meeting, $1.50 was set as the standard, but there are a few of you out there who didn't get the memo.

3. If you don't make your kid wear his bike helmet, it is difficult for me to get my kid to wear his bike helmet. He doesn't want to look stupid, and that is my specialty.

4. A fifth grader should know how to tie his shoes. With velcro and slip on shoes, a surprising number of kids go around with their shoes untied. It is not fashion, it is ignorance.

5. I don't want to see your child's underwear. Sagging should never be allowed on anyone who is young enough to be sent to his room. You are the parent - insist that he wear pants that don't regularly fall to his knees. I have set up a belt fund for those of you in the neighborhood who are short on cash. Come and see me for a grant.

6. We are having trash can and toilet seat demonstrations at my house next Thursday at 6pm. Bring your children and we will show them how to put empty chip bags in the trash and how the toilet seat goes down as well as up. Refreshments will be served.

Feel free to add any agenda items that I may have missed. Parents united, will never be defeated.

On this date: In 1904, the first American Olympiad.


Kelly said...

Hah, Cyn. I'm guilty of one or two of these (tooth fairy; cell phone for a 12-year-old, but, hey, I leave her at an ice rink and she doesn't know how to text.)

cynjay said...

YOUR kid isn't hanging around MY house causing MY kid to constantly whine about the fact that EVERYONE else in his class has a cell.

You can come to the meeting and address these other issues.

Linda D. (sbk) said...

K, my 14 yo can't keep his pants up where they need to be and it drives me crazy. But it's almost darn near impossible to find him pants that fit without spending $100 and he's got a metal allergy so he can't wear belts. *sigh* So, yes, guilty on that one. I'm trying to fatten him up, but his darn metabolism keeps fighting me.

And wow, do I hear you about the cell phone issue! Most kids do NOT need cell phones and the ones who do, shouldn't have them out at school to make all the other kids feel a need to torture their parents for one.

I told my kids that as soon as they had social lives to the point where I might not always know exactly where they are, they could have cells. So now, 14 yo does have one. The 12 yo does NOT!

I think also, I might need to sign up for that trash demonstration next week. What is it with kids and always missing the garbage? That, or not bothering to use it at all.